


i'm re-reading your letters and watching them burn

by sparklypoms



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Crossover, Emotional Hurt, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Gay, Hamilton References, How Do I Tag, Hurt Ryan Bergara, I'm Bad At Summaries, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Shane Being an Asshole, Song: Burn (Hamilton), basically ryan is eliza, jake is angelica?, shane can be alexander lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-04-19 16:26:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19136389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparklypoms/pseuds/sparklypoms
Summary: shane had always been a brilliant writer.but he wrote too much.too much about too many things that should not have been written.





	i'm re-reading your letters and watching them burn

**Author's Note:**

> im a hamiltrash and a bfu trash so lets just *shwoop* them together :)
> 
> another disclaimer: i am still not mocking or discrediting shane and sara or ryan, i love all of them and respect all of their relationships, platonically or romantically.

 

_I saved every letter you wrote me._

_From the moment I read them, I knew you were mine._

 

“Ryan! Come look! It’s the ghosties comin’ to haunt you!”

“Shut up Shane!”

 

_Do you know what Jake said when we saw your first letter arrive?_

_He said, "Be careful with that one, Ry, he will do what it takes to survive."_

 

Shane had invited him to a karaoke party that evening.

Ryan knew it was a bad idea, but he went anyway.

“You too much of a scaredy-cat, Bergara? To come up on stage and sing with me?”

He remembered.

And he was so angry (and drunk), that he pushed Shane up on the stage and screamed his lungs out to Dancing Queen that night.

 

_You and your words flooded my senses, your sentences left me defenseless._

 

He remembered when he first let Shane write the script for Unsolved.

Just for _one_ episode.

And he had turned it into some sort of crazed, Hot Daga Script 0.2.

Shane just hoped Ryan didn’t notice the little hints he dropped in it.

 

_You built me palaces out of paragraphs, you built cathedrals._

 

And so, Ryan decided he’d start to get Shane to write the scripts with him.

Which meant spending more time with Shane.

Nights, long days.

He didn’t mind, though.

 

_I'm re-reading the letters you wrote me; I'm searching and scanning for answers in every line._

 

Over time, he found out how brilliant of a writer Shane actually was.

Maybe the Hotdaga did really help.

“Why didn’t I do this earlier?”

And in exchange for scriptwriting, Ryan would have to come up with plot points for the Hotdaga.

Not his proudest trade, but hey, it was something he could try out.

 

_For some kind of sign, and when you were mine._

 

They ended up spending so much time together, the office had thought something fishy had been happening.

Brent had approached him that day, asking for answers and “juicy secrets he swore he wouldn’t tell the Try Guys.”

Ryan denied all of it, of course.

But he couldn’t help but wonder.

 

_The world seemed to burn._

 

It was on a Wednesday.

They always filmed on Wednesday.

And they were going through the script.

Shane had written this one.

Alone, as he had requested.

“On today’s episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved, we are looking into the mystery of…”

“Ryan Bergara?”

His eyes darted to Shane’s.

“Shane, what the hell is th-”

“Just read it, please.”

His eyes were just so desperate, Ryan couldn’t say no.

“Today we are looking into the mystery of Ryan Bergara. Why is he so hot?”

He stifled a giggle.

“Ryan Bergara, 29 years old as of 2019, is by far the sexiest-”

Ryan burst out laughing at this point.

“What the fuck, Shane? What is this?”

But Shane just motioned to continue reading.

“Ryan Bergara is the sexiest _\- oh wow-,_ kindest and most hardworking man Shane Madej has ever seen.”

“Ryan Bergara created Buzzfeed Unsolved, one of the most successful companies in Buzzfeed and arguably the best part of it.

“Ryan Bergara worked hard on it, harder than anyone else.”

“Ryan Bergara is loved by his fans, family, friends, co-workers.”

“Ryan Bergara is loved by Shane Madej.”

“But whether Shane Madej is loved by Ryan Bergara, remains,”

_“Unsolved.”_

 

_Burn…_

 

“I love you, Ryan.”

And as the shorter of the two stood there, eyes wide, he recounted the memories.

The karaoke.

The adventures.

The late night writing.

And in that moment, Ryan Bergara realized he was in love with Shane Madej.

And he grabbed the lanky shoulder of the man, pulled him down and kissed him.

 

_You published the letters she wrote you._

 

Ryan remembered going through Shane’s phone for the very first time for a Buzzfeed video.

Shane had unwittingly agreed to it, which had made Ryan snicker later, knowing that he had duped him.

He had scrolled through his contacts, a flash of blue and white.

He paused at the sight of red, seeing a heart emoji next to his name and smiled.

He continued scrolling.

He paused again at the next sight of red, a heart next to a name.

Sara.

He didn’t say anything to the camera, of course.

And as he continued scrolling, sneaking in a little commentary here and there, he was unfazed.

Because he trusted Shane.

 

_You told the whole world how you brought this girl into our bed._

 

Shane would spend more time on his phone then he would with Ryan.

It was always work.

Friends.

A family visit.

Ryan was fine with that, though, because he had sort of prided himself on not being the possessive type.

But the small tugging in his gut suggested otherwise.

 

_In clearing your name, you have ruined our lives._

 

Jake had told him something was afoot.

He shrugged it off.

Brent had told him something was wrong.

Nope.

Kelsey had told him something was bad.

He ignored it.

Though, looking back, he probably should have trusted their judgement rather than his.

 

_Do you know what Jake said, when he found out what you'd done?_

 

Jake tried to show him, tried to tell him the truth.

That he knew what Shane was up to.

That he knew Shane was-

But Ryan didn’t want to hear any of it.

Because he was so caught up in his little fantasy, that Shane was the perfect man, the perfect _everything._

He didn’t even know how Jake had found out.

 

_He said, "You've married an Icarus, he's flown too close to the sun."_

 

He remembered how he caught Shane and Sara.

It was in the board room.

After a Ruining History meeting.

He had left his coffee there.

He went back.

He didn’t interrupt them.

 

_You and your words obsessed with your legacy, your sentences border on senseless._

 

It was the scripts.

Shane had always been a brilliant writer.

But he always wrote too much about too many things.

From there, Ryan could piece it together.

And then he knew.

 

_And you are paranoid in every paragraph, in how I perceive you._

 

Ryan had gone through Shane’s phone again.

But this time, he was only focusing on one contact.

Shane was paranoid.

Shane had also texted Jake, begging him not to tell Ryan.

He had found out.

He had tried to tell him.

 

_You, you, you!_

 

That night, when Shane had gone out to ‘finish up some work’, Ryan broke down.

He had to do what he needed to do.

 

_I'm erasing myself from the narrative._

 

When he had confronted Shane, he had denied it.

He had lied.

 

_Let the audience wonder how Ryan reacted when you broke his heart._

 

“I know, Shane!”

 

_You have torn it all apart._

“I know about everything!”

 

_I'm watching it burn._

 

“The texts!”

 

_Watching it burn._

 

“Every! Fucking! Thing!”

 

_The world has no right to my heart, the world has no place in our bed._

 

“Ryan, I swear, I would never-”

“ _Bullshit,_ Shane!”

 

_They don't get to know what I said, I'm burning the memories._

It went silent for a while.

 

_Burning the letters that might have redeemed you._

 

“You know, Shane, I always thought it was just me.”

 

_You forfeit all rights to my heart._

 

“I always thought that I was paranoid. That I was being ‘Ol’ Sourpuss Bergara.”

 

_You forfeit the place in our bed._

 

“And I also thought that you were mine. Guess that was wrong too.”

 

_You'll sleep with her instead._

 

“And hey, remember that pact we did? The one where if one of us dies or something, Unsolved ends?”

 

_With only the memories of when you were mine._

 

“I’m going to do you one last favor and fulfill that pact, because number one, it’s _my_ show. I decide when to end it. And two,”

 

“To me, you’re as good as dead.”

 

_I hope that you…_

 

“Hey everyone! This is a special announcement from the Buzzfeed Unsolved crew! It’s hard for me to say this, but Buzzfeed Unsolved has unfortunately come to an end. The season finale that came out on Friday was the last episode. One more season was meant to be scheduled, but we encountered some… _mishaps_ , and it was cancelled.”

 

“I will also sadly, be leaving Buzzfeed at the end of the month. I’ve decided to pursue another aspect of my passion, in a different environment where I will get to try new things and start fresh!”

 

“This is hard for me too. Unsolved is my baby, as mentioned, and I still don’t know what I’d do without it. But all things must come to an end, and this is the end. Part of the journey is the end, but there will always be more journeys. The big guy will still stay, however, so do go and find him in other videos. But, till next time. I really, do love you all. Signing off from Buzzfeed one last time, this is a goodbye from Ryan Steven Bergara, to all those fans out there, and to Buzzfeed.”

 

_Burn._

 

 

 


End file.
